Do you believe I am ABLE to do this? Matthew 9:28 I sense Him challenging me right now on what I believe about Him. He is challenging me to review my prayer language. He is challenging me to take my eyes off myself and put it 100% on His ability and willingness to act. Uniquely in Matthew 9:28, Jesus asks 2 blind men, “Do you believe I am able to do this?” If prayer includes anything, it definitely includes Jesus’ nature to question what you believe and test your heart towards him. He repeatedly asks Peter, “Do you love me?”- John 21:15-17 He asks Paul, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” – Acts 9:4 He challenges his disciples, “Where is your faith?”- Luke 8:25 He questioned Adam. “Where are you?”- Genesis 3:9 He tested Abraham, Genesis 22:2- “Take your son, your only son, whom you love- Isaac- and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.”- Genesis 22:2. Prayer is two way. God is not silent in relationship. We can severely limit prayer to wanting answers, releasing words with rapid machine-gun type fire. We get impatient that He doesn’t answer on our terms. While He on the other hand, has a very active conversation going. He is all about exploring and knowing with the goal that we love Him, abide in Him, obey Him, trust Him, mature in faith, glorify Him, and follow Him into fields ripe with harvest. We want answers and intervention on our terms. He wants relationship and mature, faith-filled disciples. Healthy, thriving relationships require relational investment on both sides. If that is ignored, over the course of time, relationships are fractured and often end. People who stop talking to one another end up no longer close. Same with prayer. I’ve come to realize Jesus is never the one who stops talking to his people. If you feel He is silent, do a search on all of the questions He asks people in the Gospels and begin to answer them for yourself. Scroll back up to the questions listed above. See what kind of conversation that creates between the two of you. He always knows where you and He stand. His line of questioning is about having us reflect on where we stand in our hearts towards him. What we believe reflects the way we talk to Him and what we talk to him about. It will reflect the way we talk about Him to others. I am in a season of major change. He is using this as a time to assess my prayer language with Him. I can focus too much on looking at the impossible in front of me. Sometimes it seems He is very silent; but I am wrong. He is indeed speaking just answering on His terms. I keep hearing “ABLE” and “Faithful”. End of discussion. He is not going to tell me "how", He is going to tell me "WHO". If I want more detail about "WHO", I have more than I could ever handle. All I need to do is open up scripture and visit the endless accounts revealing His supernatural ability and faithfulness to His people. PLUS I can look back at my own life and see His supernatural provision and faithfulness and return thanks. The last time I was in major transition due to job change was back in 2002. I was in San Clemente at the time. I’d been impressed by God to stay in California after my employer liquidated its business. Staying in California was risky due to the cost of living. But in obedience, I stayed. God then frustrated all efforts to find new full-time employment! I only had random part-time positions for short spurts. No steady stream of income came as a result of my effort. It became necessary to spend my savings and also my decent size 401K. I remember the intense fear and panic felt at different times. He let me get to a point of not being able to meet my financial obligations. By mid 2003, I needed to be rescued. He stepped in, humbling me to accept help. He extended His grace in miraculous ways for which I was amazed and exceedingly thankful. But month-to-month tension remained. Whispers of others also began at this point. My “circle” was starting to feel I really needed to get my act together and get a full-time job. Pressure was building; the grace of others was waning. I remember not knowing how to explain what was happening. Late 2003, it got to a point where my sweet kitty, Tigger, and I, were staying in a friend’s living room. Talk about humbling circumstances! After a few months, this friend came to me and told me her son was moving back in, so I had to go. Now December 2003, some other friends said I could stay at their house to pet sit while they went on a mission trip; but upon return, I could not stay. While they were gone, fear of being homeless really worked on me. All throughout God was speaking to strengthen my faith, but my fears were louder. Then curious whispers began, “Rochester, NY.” My grandparents lived in Rochester, also the place I was born. I was NOT happy about whispers to go to Rochester. Leaving seemed impractical, especially since I would risk losing my part-time employment that was paying me $18/hour. That employer was Ralph’s, a grocery store that hired me in 2003 because union laborers were on strike. In my limited human sight, I saw that job as a critical lifeline. But as January 2004 came up, my friends were also returning from their trip; and as they stated previously, I was not allowed to stay. So I spent a couple nights in my car just trying to get to the date when my flight left Orange County airport. This experience was beyond heartbreaking in many ways. But God’s love and faithfulness sustained me. His whispers and living promises in His Word began carrying more weight than my fears. While not easy, he was breaking my dependency on all others. I knew following His voice was my path forward. Using frequent flier miles from business travel, I packed for a 2 week trip, with kitty in tow, and left for Rochester. When I finally caught up to what God was doing, I put my resume online and had a job within 3 days. The offer came on my birthday and on the same day the strike ended in California. God was moving me to Rochester, NY. Everything that had happened was according to His plan. God used it all for good; and my relationship with him was dramatically strengthened, not fractured. This was all a necessary test Jesus orchestrated to strengthen our relationship, to build my trust in Him. Now 12 years later, here I am again in major transition. He is freshly sifting through my heart asking me, like he questioned the blind men, “Gina, do you believe I am ABLE?” My courage comes from looking back at God's faithfulness and following His lead to adjust my prayer language proclaiming He indeed is able and faithful. Look back on your life. What has He brought you through? How does it help you discover how He wants to work on your relationship with Him? What area is He challenging you? Is He asking you if you love Him? Is He saying like He said to Adam, “Where are you?” Is He testing you, like He tested Abraham, “Take that thing you love and sacrifice it.” Is He asking you like He asked the blind men, “Do you believe I am able to do this?” Is He saying, "Why are you thinking these things in your heart?"- Mark 2:8 If you want to grow in your faith and have a satisfying prayer life with God, tune away from what you want to say, and instead tune to questions He asks. Take an honest look at your time in prayer, your tone with Him, your words, your countenance. Do you mostly focus on your problems and have a “Whoa is me” kind of prayer language? Or do you focus on Him and celebrate that He is able! This is what He is getting to when He asks, “Do you believe I am able to do this?” Your faith is HIS script. The world says, “Write your story, you are only limited to your imagination.” But if you are his, God says HE is author. Not only is He author, He is the FINISHER of your faith, Hebrews 12:2. God will finish the work He began in you, Philippians 1:6! Jesus touches eyes who come by faith and says to them, “According to your faith, let it be done to you.” That is a landmine explosive with supernatural promise right there! Fields ripe with harvest, Matthew 9:35-38. Ask. This is the field in which we are to finish our faith. He alone is supernaturally able. He is faithful and will do it, 1 Thessalonians 5:24.
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